Teachers: The Forgotten Co-Pilot in Parenting
Every year on my birthday, my mom makes the same Facebook post. She starts by telling everyone it’s “her favorite daughter’s” birthday (even though I’m her only child) and she closes by thanking everyone who had a hand in raising me, “thank you, because it takes a village.” Yes, it is our parents’ responsibility to raise, nurture and guide us, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t allowed to outsource when needed.
Grandparents, aunts and uncles, older siblings, and cousins are often the go-to sources when it comes to child-rearing. But what if we paid more attention to the people who spend 5 days a week for 8 hours each day with our children?
Teachers spend countless hours with our children over a lifetime, yet they are not as highly regarded for advice when it comes to caring for children. My parents and elder family members instilled many positive values during my childhood that guide my life today, but had it not been for several dedicated teachers I crossed paths with, I would have missed out on many valuable life lessons. I’m thankful that my parents approached the parent-teacher relationship as a partnership. They had the same goal of raising a well-rounded, educated, and kind human being. However, I often hear from educators about the challenges of navigating relationships with their student’s parents - teachers are blamed for students’ grades, and their valid concerns about a child’s behavior are disregarded by parents.
With the school year in full swing, parent-teacher conferences are right around the corner. It is so important to build a relationship with your child’s teacher, as it lends to the overall growth and development of your child. Research from the National Coalition for Parent Involvement in Education found that “regardless of income or background, students with involved parents are more likely to have higher grades and test scores, attend school regularly, have better social skills, show improved behavior and adapt well to school”. Here are a few ways to foster a positive relationship with your child’s teacher this school year and boost your involvement in your child’s education.
Be Present for Parent Teacher Conferences: If you can’t be physically present due to work obligations, let the teacher know. As a single mom, it is a challenge to juggle all that life throws at you so if meeting in person is not an option, see if the teacher is available for a phone call or a virtual meeting.
Read Your Child’s School/Classroom Newsletter or Weekly Report: Most teachers prepare a weekly report of your child’s progress. When I was in elementary school and my mom picked me up on a Friday, her first words were “Where is your Friday folder?!” Reading these reports and newsletters can keep you in the know about your child’s performance and school happenings.
Volunteer with Your Child’s Class: As single moms, we know free time is hard to come by. However, when you do have time, consider volunteering with your child’s class. You can chaperone a field trip or read to the class. We know being the PTA president or spearheading school fundraisers might not be feasible with your schedule, but finding small ways to be present is a good way to establish a partnership with your child’s teacher as well as strengthen the bond with your child.
Be Receptive: If your child’s teacher has feedback to share regarding classroom performance or behavior, be receptive. As parents, it is our job to believe that we have the best kids ever. This may be true, but they’re kids and they make mistakes just like we all do. Taking the time to listen to the teachers’ perspectives fosters open lines of communication.
A writer for the Washington Post surveyed a number of teachers and asked “what do you want parents to know?” Teachers cited many wants, but mostly, they just wanted to feel like they were on the same team. As you navigate a relationship with your child’s teacher this Fall, try to view teachers as an extra Co-Pilot in the world of parenting.
For more parenting tips, please visit the Along the Way Blog!